Caperio, Life?

Life?

The other day I went to dinner with a friend. I decided on the roast beef po-boy (as the restaurant was famous for). As I dug into what is usually my favorite po-boy I found a sadness swirling up into my chest. I was taken a-back by this at first. My day had gone well, things were going pretty good, but this simple sandwich reminded me of something.

I remember on my first date with my last boyfriend we went to try this local po-boy shop. We both got roast beef po-boys, they were delicious and we were having so much fun. He had a smear of mayo on his lip which I pointed out. He proceed to shove his face into his sandwich and smear it all over his mouth and chin and give me a goofy grin. It makes me sad to think back on something that was so good, that turned so bad. I know it was not a healthy relationship and that it wasn’t going anywhere, but I wonder sometimes if I’ll ever find someone who will treat me as well as he did (when things were going well).

I miss hanging out with someone that just wants to be around me, that loves me and shows it. I don’t have many close friends, so I definitely don’t get that feeling from them. I rarely get to see my brother, now that I moved out of the city, and going home definitely doesn’t give me that feeling. I know my family loves me, but only my mother shows it and my dad harasses me mostly. Its a feeling I definitely don’t get from the guy i’ve been dating for the past few months. When’s it time to walk away because you don’t think this person is terribly interested in you? At what stage in a relationship do you start needing a greater emotional connection? And should you walk away cause you’re not getting it, even though everything else is great?

I know that I am just whining. That I am just complaining, but this is my blog… and i’ll talk about what I want.
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